The Facts of Life Page 5

  Why do I let myself worry?

  Wondering

  What in the world did I do

  Crazy

  For thinking that my love could hold you

  I'm crazy for trying

  Crazy for crying

  And I'm crazy

  For loving you

  The Part Where I Cry

  Life is a picture in which I play the lead

  But my biggest line was goodbye

  Now my leading lady has walked out on me

  And this is the part where I cry

  I was great in the scene

  Where she found someone new

  You should have seen my look of surprise

  And if you have just walked into the picture

  This is the part where I cry

  And after the picture is over

  And it's judged for the part where she lied

  The award of achievement that's given

  Will be mine for the part where I cry

  Wake Me When It's Over

  I'm getting tired now

  I gotta get some sleep now

  I guess I've been worried much too long

  And don't wake me till it's over

  When the need for you is gone

  I was so happy before I loved you

  I want to be like I was before

  So don't wake me till it's over

  When I won't want you anymore

  My eyes are getting weak now

  Gotta get some sleep now

  I gotta rest my aching head

  I just wanna lay here

  Just let me stay here

  Till the blues get up

  And leave my bed

  Good night, darling

  Good night, darling

  Good night forevermore

  And don't wake me till it's over

  When I won't want you anymore

  My eyes are getting weak now

  I gotta get some sleep now

  I gotta rest my aching head

  Just let me lay here

  Let me stay here

  Till the blues get up

  And leave my bed

  Good night darling

  Good night darling

  Good night forevermore

  And don't wake me till it's over

  When I won't want you anymore

  Three Days

  There are three days I know that I'll be blue

  Three days that I'll always dream of you

  And it does no good to wish these days would end

  'Cause these same three days start over again

  Three days that I dread to see arrive

  Three days that I hate to be alive

  Three days filled with tears and sorrow

  Yesterday, today, and tomorrow

  This song was inspired by a joke I had heard. A drunk walked up to a guy on the street and said, “I ain't eaten in three day s. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.”

  One Step Beyond

  I'm just one step before losing you

  And I'm just one step ahead of the blues

  But I know that there's been pain and misery

  Long before this old world ever heard of me

  And I know it will hurt to see you go

  But we'll just add one more heartache to the score

  And though I still love you as before

  I'm just one step beyond caring anymore

  Bet that you're surprised that I could feel this way

  After staying home and waiting night and day

  For someone who cared so much for me

  You'd come home just long enough to laugh at me

  I don't know just when my feelings changed

  I just know I could never feel the same

  And though I still love you as before

  I'm just one step beyond caring anymore

  Darkness on the Face of the Earth

  The morning that you left me

  Was just another day

  How could I see the sorrow that had found me?

  And then you laughed and told me

  That I was in your way

  And I turned and ran as heaven fell around me

  I stumbled through the darkness

  My footsteps were unsure

  I lived within a world that had no sunshine

  When you left me darling

  My world came to an end

  And there was darkness on the face of the earth

  The stars fell out of heaven

  The moon could not be found

  The sun was in a million pieces

  Scattered all around

  Why did you ever leave me?

  You knew how it would hurt

  And now there's darkness on the face of the earth

  Where My House Lives

  Stop here, across the street to your right

  That's where my house lives

  Sometimes I stayed there at night

  But mostly I was on the move

  Business first, you know

  And she'd wait there in her lonely room

  But oh, that's been so long ago

  She's gone now

  She couldn't stand to be alone

  And now it waits there

  This house that used to be my home

  I never go there 'cause it holds too many memories

  Since she's gone

  But right there is where my house

  Lives all alone

  HARLAN HOWARD, my old songwriting buddy, once said, “If I ever think about getting married again, I'm just gonna find some gal that I don't like too much and buy her a house.”

  Misery Mansion

  Misery mansion

  So cold and so gray

  You look so lonely

  Since she went away

  Misery mansion

  What secrets you hide

  Of a love

  That has faded and died

  You know all the reasons

  Why she said goodbye

  And you stand there in silence

  While I sit and cry

  Misery mansion

  Oh, how you've changed

  Your walls hold the sorrow

  That loneliness brings

  A love of a lifetime

  Forever is gone

  Misery mansion, my home

  Home Motel

  What used to be my home has changed

  To just a place to stay

  A crumbling last resort when day is through

  Sometimes between sundown and dawn

  Somehow I find my way

  To this home motel

  On Lost Love Avenue

  No one seems to really care

  If I come here at all

  And the one who seems to care the least is you

  I'm gonna hang a neon sign

  With letters big and blue

  Home Motel

  On Lost Love Avenue

  No one seems to really care

  If I come here at all

  And the one who seems to care the least is you

  I'm gonna hang a neon sign

  With letters big and blue

  Home Motel

  On Lost Love Avenue

  Lonely Little Mansion

  I'm a lonely little mansion for sale

  Furnished with everything but love

  I'm looking for someone

  To come live in me

  I've got a large picture window

  And a yard filled with trees

  The sign reads “two stories”

  And that's all that's for sale

  But there's so many stories

  I could tell

  My windows are closed

  And I'm gasping for air

  My carpets are spotted

  With tear stains here and there

  A torn photograph still lies on my floor

  And two sweethearts don't live here anymore

  I'm a lonely little mansion for sale

 
And for someone I'd fit just like a glove

  I'm a lonely little mansion for sale

  Furnished with everything but love

  I Just Stopped By

  I just stopped by to see the house I used to live in

  I hope that you don't mind

  I won't stay very long

  So long ago someone and I lived here together

  And then so suddenly I found myself alone

  I couldn't stand the thought

  Of living here without her

  And so I moved away to let my memories die

  But my memories outlived my better judgment

  This may sound strange to you

  But I just thought I'd stop by

  The very door you're standing in

  She used to stand there

  And wait for me to come home every night

  And when I'd see her standing there

  I'd run to meet her

  These things were on my mind

  So I just thought I'd stop by

  I guess that I should leave

  Someone just might not understand

  And I'm aware of how the neighbors like to pry

  But you can tell them all today

  A most unhappy man

  Was in the neighborhood

  And he just thought he'd stop by

  HARLAN HOWARD, ROGER MILLER, AND I used to have a lot of fun together at the BMI Awards dinners in Nashville. We would sit right down front, drink white Russians, and run Frances Preston crazy. As Nashville's head of BMI, it was her job to try and make everyone happy. God bless her. She did it better than anybody. Every time an award was announced, Harlan, Roger, and I would all three jump up and accept it. By the time the real winner got to the podium, things were a bit confusing. Frances smiled through the whole thing. She was the best, she's a treasure. I love you, Frances. You put up with a lot between me, Harlan, Roger, and Hank Cochran.

  By the way, Hank was responsible for me signing with Pamper Music in the early '60s. Instead of taking his fifty-dollar-a-week raise in salary as a writer, he convinced Pamper Music to give it to me. It was then I felt like a professional songwriter. Thanks, Hank.

  I came to town with “Night Life,” “Mr. Record Man,” “Crazy,” “Funny How Time Slips Away,” and a few others. Hank had heard some of my songs one night at Tootsie's Orchid Lounge in Nashville. Everyone hung out at Tootsie's. She loved all the crazy people, Fluffo and Flutter Lips (better known as Wayne Walker and Mel Tillis), Faron Young, Hank, Charlie Dick (Patsy Cline's husband), Little Jimmy Dickens, and Billy Walker.

  Tootsie

  Billy Walker soon had a hit with “Funny How Time Slips Away.” He had helped me out one time in Springfield, Missouri, and now again in Nashville. He is a real friend. A smart man once said if you go through life and make one real friend, you are a lucky person. T. Texas Tyler, another old buddy of mine, said that he was a man with a million friends—so I know I'm in there somewhere. I feel like I have a lot of real good friends.

  Funny How Time Slips Away

  Well, hello there

  My it's been a long, long time

  How am I doin'?

  Oh, I guess that I'm doing fine

  It's been so long now

  But it seems like

  It was only yesterday

  Gee, ain't it funny

  How time slips away?

  How's your new love?

  I hope that he's doing fine

  I heard you told him

  That you'd love him till the end of time

  Now, that's the same thing

  That you told me

  Seems like just the other day

  Gee, ain't it funny

  How time slips away?

  Gotta go now

  I guess I'll see you around

  Don't know when though

  Never know when I'll be back in town

  But just remember

  What I tell you

  In time, you're gonna pay

  And it's surprising

  How time slips away

  Mr. Record Man

  Mr. Record Man, I'm looking for

  A song I heard today

  There was someone blue singing about

  Someone who went away

  Just like me his heart was yearning

  For a love that used to be

  It's a lonely song about a lonely man, like me

  I was driving down the highway

  With my radio turned on

  And the man that I heard singing

  Seemed so blue and all alone

  As I listened to his lonely song

  I wondered could it be

  Could there somewhere be another lonely man,

  like me?

  There was something about a love

  That didn't treat him right

  And he'd wake from troubled sleep

  And cry her name at night

  Mister Record Man, oh get this record for me

  Won't you please

  It's a lonely song about a lonely man, like me

  SOME OF THE FUNNIEST STORIES to come out of Nashville are about Hank Snow, the “Singing Ranger.” He was a huge country music star in the 1950s and '60s who was born in Canada. His first hit, “Brand on My Heart,” was one of my all-time favorites.

  Hank and I did an album together, one of the highlights of my life. Not only was he a gentleman, but he was an excellent example for young artists to try to follow.

  His fiddle player, Chubby Wise, also a great musician, was Hank's right-hand man for years. One night, Hank was performing his show and the spotlight was in his eyes, and he got too close to the orchestra pit and fell in. He looked up and said, “Goddamn it, Chubby. Why don't you watch where I'm going?”

  Once, Chubby stood up to take a fiddle course and got a little too close to Hank. His fiddle bow caught Hank's toupee, took it off, and sailed it out into the crowd. Hank kept singing, Chubby kept fiddling, and someone went home with Hank Snow's hair. Only in country music.

  Nashville, 1961

  Congratulations

  I can tell that you're already growing tired of me

  You want no part of me

  Even started lying to me

  And if you started out to break this heart inside of me

  Congratulations to you, dear

  You're doing fine

  I pass you on the street and you don't speak to me

  You just look at me

  Then you walk away from me

  If you started out to make a fool of me

  Congratulations to you, dear

  You're doing fine

  Well, you should be commended for

  The sorrow you caused me

  How does it feel to be the queen of misery?

  (So) if you started out

  to break this heart inside of me

  Congratulations to you, dear

  You're doing fine

  Hello Walls

  Hello walls

  How'd things go for you today?

  Don't you miss her

  Since she up and walked away?

  And I'll bet you dread to spend

  Another lonely night with me

  But, lonely walls, I'll keep you company

  Hello window

  Well, I see that you're still here

  Aren't you lonely

  Since our darling disappeared?

  Well, look here, is that a teardrop

  In the corner of your pane?

  Now, don't you try to tell me that it's rain

  She went away

  And left us all alone

  The way she planned

  Guess we'll have to learn to get along

  Without her if we can

  Hello ceiling

  I'm gonna stare at you awhile

  You know I can't sleep

  So won't you bear with me awhile?

  We must all stick together

  Or else I'll lose my mind

 
'Cause I've got a feeling

  She'll be gone a long, long time

  Years ago, Hank and Faron Young, another great character in country music, were on the same bill together. Over the years, they had never gotten along very well but found themselves backstage in a dressing room together, having a drink and telling jokes. Faron said, “Hank, here we are backstage having a great time drinking and joking together. Normally we wouldn't even speak to each other.”

  Hank said, “Oh, Faron. I'd say hello.”

  Faron Young was one of the first people I met when I got to Nashville. I met him at Tootsie's Orchid Lounge. I was jamming upstairs with Buddy Emmons and Jimmy Day (two of the greatest steel guitar players in the world), Hank Cochran, and a few more. Faron came in and I sang him a couple of my songs, “Congratulations” and “Hello Walls.” He recorded them both. The record came out and was a huge hit.

  Before the money started coming in, I was still broke, making a living playing bass on the road with Ray Price. A good job, but not much money. I saw Faron at Tootsie's and I offered to sell him all the rights to “Hello Walls” for five hundred dollars. He said, “You're crazy! That song has already sold more than that. Here's the five hundred. Pay me back when you have it.”

  He really did me a favor. Since then, “Hello Walls” has earned well more than a million dollars. Thank you, Faron.

  My first royalty check was for twenty thousand dollars. When I finally got it, I found Faron at Tootsie's and immediately grabbed him around the neck and planted a big kiss on his mouth. I probably shouldn't say anything now that he's gone, but I think he liked it. I tried to pay him the five hundred dollars that I owed him, but he wouldn't take it. I was raising calves at the time to try and sell, so Faron said, “Why don't you just give me one of those calves when you get him fattened up and we'll call it even.”

  Faron Young and me

  The months went by, then the years. One day I saw Faron at Toot-sie's again. He said, “That calf must weigh about six thousand pounds by now!”

  We had a good laugh, but he still wouldn't let me pay him.

  Many years later, I was playing the Austin Livestock Show and Rodeo. That night at the charity auction, my son Billy decided to bid on this registered Seminole bull. He wound up with the winning bid of seventeen thousand dollars. That was about seven thousand dollars more than I made that night. I couldn't give it back, it was a charity auction. I could write it off … right? Anyway, now I have a two-thousand-pound bull. What the hell am I going to do with it? My son Billy said, “Dad, we can make a killing in breeding fees!”