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The Facts of Life Page 10


  I love playing in New York City. I love walking down the streets and running in Central Park. I remember going to see Kris and Rita at Radio City Music Hall one time. On the way back home I wrote …

  We were headed home in Austin

  Caught pneumonia on the road

  Taking it home to Connie and the kids

  A wheel ran off and jumped a railroad

  Then ran through a grocery store

  If you want to buy a bus I'm taking bids

  Well I just got back from New York City

  Kris and Rita done it all

  Raw perfection there for all the world to see

  Lord I heard an angel singing

  In the Philharmonic Hall

  Rita Coolidge, Rita Coolidge cleft for me

  And the devil shivered in his sleeping bag

  He said traveling on the road is a fucking drag

  If we can make it home by Friday we can brag

  And the devil shivered in his sleeping bag

  I did an album in New York City one time. It turned out to be called Shotgun Willie. I wrote the title song while I was making the album. Jerry Wexler was the producer—one of the best producers of all time. I had met him at Harlan Howard's Christmas party. I was looking for a record deal and he really liked my work. So there we were in New York City, doing an album. I was thrilled. At the same time though I was a little pissed because I wanted to come up with a really good new song for the album.

  Shotgun Willie

  Shotgun Willie

  Sits around in his underwear

  Biting on a bullet

  And pulling out all of his hair

  Shotgun Willie's

  Got all of his family there

  (I pretty much did too. Sister Bobbie, me, Jimmy Day, Larry Gatlin, Jerry Wexler.)

  Well you can't make a record

  If you ain't got nothing to say

  Well you can't make a record

  If you ain't got nothing to say

  You can't play music

  If you don't know nothing to play

  Now John T. Flores

  Was working for the Ku Klux Klan

  At six-foot-five

  John T. was a helluva man

  Made a lot of money

  Selling sheets on the family plan

  Shotgun Willie

  Sits around in his underwear

  Biting on a bullet

  And pulling out all of his hair

  Shotgun Willie's

  Got all of his family there

  It's the only song I ever wrote in New York City. Maybe I'll write another one this time.

  Every song is a gospel song. All music is sacred. Every note of music in the universe is spiritual and sacred …and that's the gospel truth. Amen

  Our Father who art in Heaven

  Hallowed be Thy name

  Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done

  On earth as it is in heaven

  Give us this day our daily bread

  And forgive us our sins

  As we forgive those who sin against us

  Lead us not into temptation and deliver us

  from evil

  For Thine is the kingdom, the power, and

  the glory forever

  Amen

  This is an affirmation that you can always repeat, whether you're going to bed or headed into a fist fight. It always seems to help me. I keep it on a loop in my mind. It's programmed to kick in whenever I keep my mind open and my mouth shut. Feel free to use it if you want to. I didn't write it, but I highly recommend it.

  I Thought About You

  I thought about trees

  And how much I'd like to climb one

  I thought about friends

  And how rare it is to find one

  I thought about You

  The most dearest, sweet and kind one

  I thought about You, Lord

  I thought about You

  I thought about life

  And the way that things are going

  I thought about love

  And the pain there is in growing

  I thought about You

  The One who is all knowing

  I thought about You, Lord

  I thought about You

  I thought about You

  And the songs that I've been singing

  I thought about You

  And the joy that they keep bringing

  I thought about You

  A love that's never ending

  I thought about You, Lord

  I thought about you

  In God's Eyes

  Never think evil thoughts of anyone

  It's just as wrong to think as to say

  For a thought is but a word that's unspoken

  In God's eyes

  He sees it this way

  Lend a hand if you can to a stranger

  Never worry if he can't repay

  For in time you'll be repaid ten times over In God's eyes He sees it this way

  In God's eyes we're like sheep in a meadow Now and then a lamb goes astray And open arms should await its returning

  In God's eyes

  He sees it this way

  It's Not for Me to Understand

  I passed a home the other day

  The yard was filled with kids at play

  And on the sidewalk of this home

  A little boy stood all alone

  His smiling face was sweet and kind

  But I could see the boy was blind

  He listened to the children play

  I bowed my head and there I prayed

  Dear Lord above, why must this be?

  And then these words came down to me

  After all you're just a man

  And it's not for you to understand

  It's not for you to reason why

  You too are blind without my eyes

  So question not what I command

  'Cause it's not for you to understand

  Now when I pray my prayer is one

  I pray His will, not mine, be done

  After all I'm just a man

  And it's not for me to understand

  Laying My Burdens Down

  Well I used to walk stooped

  From the weight of my tears

  But I just started laying my burdens down

  I used to duck bullets from the rifle of fear

  I just started laying my burdens down

  Oh I'm layin' 'em down

  I just started laying my burdens down

  Oh I'm layin' 'em down

  I just started laying my burdens down

  The flesh ain't nothing but the bark on a tree

  I just started laying my burdens down

  The tree ain't nothing but the soul in me

  I just started laying my burdens down

  Soul took love on a helluva ride

  I just started laying my burdens down

  Soul ain't nothing but the car love drives

  I just started laying my burdens down

  Love said, “Mama, can I come on home?”

  I just started laying my burdens down

  And God said, “Son you ain't never been gone”

  I just started laying my burdens down

  “Physician, heal thyself,” and “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” are my two favorite lines from the Bible. Here's another great prayer: “Let nothing but good come to me. Let nothing but good go from me.”

  I JUST OPENED MY little red New Testament and it says in Proverbs, chapter 6, verse 4: “Give not sleep to thine eyes, nor slumber to thine eyelids.”

  Ha! I've got that one down!

  Verse 6: “Go to the ant, thou sluggard. Consider her ways, and be wise.”

  Thanks, I needed that …

  Good nite all … 1:20 A.M., next day, same nite. Amen.

  9:20 P.M., April 20, Weehawken, New Jersey

  THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS EXWIVES, ONLY ADDITIONAL WIVES.
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br />   We're just across the bridge from New York City, in New Jersey. We had the day off, except I did that interview with Dan Rather. We had a lot of fun telling each other stories. He knows as many as I do.

  The Mississippi River is still flooding, and the folks up in Quebec, Canada, at the Summit of the Americas, are protesting in the streets. People from all over the world opposing things—the Free Trade Agreement is one thing that they're against—because they say it's taking jobs away from the working man and only benefits the big corporations. They are also protesting genetically altered foods. It seems like no matter where they try to have their global meeting, people are going to find out about it and show up in great numbers to show their opposition, and stop the meeting if they can.

  There has been a lot of tear gas thrown by the police, and people are throwing the same tear gas canisters back at the police, who have so far kept their cool for the most part. There are still a few days left so I hope everything remains relatively calm.

  There were these two guys, one a priest and the other just a good ol' boy, who happened to be sitting together on a plane that flew into bad weather. The plane was for sure going to crash. The good ol' boy began to pray saying, “Lord, if you let me live, I'll give half of everything

  The Poodiecratic Texas Flag

  that I've got to the church.” The priest overheard his prayer. The plane bounced around and then, miraculously, the sky began to open up and the plane landed safely. The two men got off the plane and the good ol' boy started to walk away. The priest said, “Hey, I thought you promised God if he let you live you'd give half of everything you have to the church. You can just make your check out to me.”

  The good ol' boy said, “Oh, I made God a better deal. I told him if I ever get back on one of those damned airplanes I'd give him everything.”

  11:55 P.M., still the same day

  POODIE AND BUDROCK (or Chicken Dick and Pecker Head, as they lovingly call each other) well, Chicken Dick will be laughing a lot for awhile. Last night on stage when the American flag dropped, Pecker Head had flag duty. At the opening of “Whiskey River” the Texas flag is supposed to drop and the American flag is supposed to drop after the third “one more time” in the second chorus of “Whiskey River.” Last night something happened, some sort of malfunction, and when I looked back to see the American flag drop, I saw just a little piece of the American flag flopped down across the star in the Texas flag. Everyone had a good laugh, but I'm sure Chicken Dick will laugh longer than Pecker Head. We are planning on using the photo of the two flags tangled and have it made into a T-shirt. The “Poodiecratic Texas Flag.” As you can see, it doesn't take much to entertain us out here.

  COACH DARRELL ROYAL is one of the best friends I have, and he's one of the biggest country music fans I know. He introduced me to Mickey Raphael. I still owe him for that one! Just kidding, Mickey. Just kidding, Coach. More than once he has proven how good a friend he really is. I won't embarrass him by saying too much, but he did invest in the Red Headed Stranger movie, along with Ernest Owen, Bill McDavid, and Don Tyson. Coach and Jim Bob Moffat bought my golf course at the IRS auction, but the IRS wouldn't let them keep it. They took it back and sold it to somebody else. But the Coach is a friend, not only to me but to everyone. He'll help anybody.

  12:35 A.M., April 22, next day, same night

  SOMEBODY MY AGE SHOULD BE IN BED. 'Nite all.

  Coach Royal's favorite song of mine …

  Healing Hands of Time

  They're working while I'm missing you

  Those healing hands of time

  And soon they'll be dismissing you

  From this heart of mine

  They'll lead me safely through the night

  And I'll follow as though blind

  My future tightly clutched within

  Those healing hands of time

  They let me close my eyes just then

  Those healing hands of time

  And soon they'll let me sleep again

  Those healing hands of time

  So already I've reached mountain peaks

  And I've just begun to climb

  I'll get over you by clinging to

  Those healing hands of time

  May 2, 5:40 P.M.

  I'VE BEEN SICK FOR SEVERAL DAYS, that's the reason I haven't been writing. I've had some kind of bug that's been going around. Everyone on the buses have had it. It's just jumping from one bus to another. As soon as you get better, here it comes again. I tried all of the herbal reme-dies—pao alto, echinacea, Golden Seal, vitamin C—but it just kept hanging on. I finally got some antibiotics and I'm feeling better. It seems like weeks I've been in a daze, spaced out, and only getting out of my bed to play the show. I haven't missed a date yet, but a lot of them seem vague and hazy.

  I hope antibiotics are alright. They say they are OK, but they would say that. I know I haven't been as good as I could be. I'm just glad that I didn't miss any shows. Hopefully I won't, the antibiotics seem to be working.

  New York was fantastic. The crowd was a good one. The Beacon Theater is a wonderful place to play, and I think we play ed OK. I was just beginning to catch whatever I caught. I wasn't 100 percent, but the review of the show in The New York Times was exceptionally good. Thank God we made it through New York, New Jersey, Mary land, and Connecticut. It's no fun to be sick anywhere, but out here on the road it's a little different. I can really sympathize with anyone who gets sick out here. At one time or another all of us were down, fortunately not all at once. I hope it's over for us—maybe we can finish the tour.

  Bee Spears had to go home to get some tests done. I hope he's doing good. We haven't heard from him since he left, but I'm sure he'll be fine and he'll be back soon. Billy English is playing bass until Bee returns. Billy English can play anything. We're lucky to have him with us.

  THERE WAS A GUY who had been in a coma for a long time. They had given up on him ever recovering. He was lying in bed when an aroma came down the hall and into the bedroom. Once the aroma reached his nostrils, he suddenly opened his eyes. It was the smell of his favorite food, chocolate chip cookies. The man awoke and crawled down the hall toward the aroma. Sure enough, when he reached the kitchen, there they were, hot chocolate chip cookies! A favorite that his wife always made him, right on the table cooling. He pulled himself up onto the table to grab one of the cookies. Suddenly, his wife came over, slapped his hand and said, “No, no, honey. These are for the funeral.”

  Kneel at the Feet of Jesus

  Guess I've been hanging around too long

  It's just about time I was moving along

  I'm gonna kneel at the feet of Jesus

  In the morning

  And don't you worry and don't you moan

  It's just about time I was moving along

  I'm gonna kneel at the feet of Jesus

  In the morning

  I'm gonna kneel at the feet of Jesus

  In the morning

  Gonna leave this sinful world

  Before the dawning

  And don't you worry and don't you moan

  It's just about time I was moving on

  I'm gonna kneel at the feet of Jesus

  In the morning

  And when I'm dead and you carry me away

  Don't you bury me deep 'cause I ain't gonna stay

  I'm gonna kneel at the feet of Jesus

  In the morning

  A little bit of dirt and a little bit of gravel

  Don't you weigh me down

  'Cause you know I gotta travel

  I'm gonna kneel at the feet of Jesus

  In the morning

  Going Home

  The closer I get to my home, Lord

  The more I want to be there

  There'll be a gathering of loved ones and friends

  And you know I want to be there

  There'll be a mixture of teardrops and flowers

  Crying and talking for hours

  About how wild that I was


  And if I'd listened to them, I wouldn't be there

  Well there's old Charlie Toll

  They threw away the mold when they made him

  And Jimmy McCline, looks like the wine's

  Finally laid him

  And Billy McGray, I could beat any day

  In a card game

  And Bessy McNeil, but her tears are real

  I can see pain

  There's a mixture of teardrops and flowers

  Crying and talking for hours

  About how wild that I was

  And if I'd listened to them, I wouldn't be there

  Lord, thanks for the ride

  I got a feeling inside that I know you

  And if you see your way, you're welcome to stay

  'Cause I'm gonna need you

  There's a mixture of teardrops and flowers

  Crying and talking for hours

  About how wild that I was

  And if I'd listened to them, I wouldn't be there

  Here we are in Richmond, Virginia. We've been here three days with the last two days off, and I've had a little time to get better. We play the Landmark Theater tonight. Just finished a sound check and it went pretty good, considering I'm still a bit shaky. The sound in the theater is beautiful. I'm looking forward to the show.

  Outside my bus window to the left I see what seems to be a courthouse. All the windows have bars on them. It might be a jail, or maybe just a rough part of town. Maybe it's a cathedral or a church of some kind. I'll probably never know. I'm sure when we leave tonight it'll be dark and late, and I'll never see the front of the building. So, I guess I'll never know unless I ask someone, and that would be cheating.

  1:15 A.M., May 3, on the way to Biloxi

  RICHMOND WAS INTO IT TONIGHT. The crowd was so wonderful. I felt better tonight than I have in several days. Thank you, Jesus. We cheated death one more time. I hope Bee Man is OK.

  One day Bee told me about when he was a little boy, and his brother went to his mother crying, “Mama, Bee wrote s-h-i-t on my little red wagon.”

  His mother said, “It's alright. We can wipe it off.”